Ava

The post Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase. first appeared on Different like Delia.

In May, I visited Saints Peter & Paul Catholic School in San Francisco. In June, I read to several primary schools on the West Coast of Ireland. These experiences allowed me to combine my love for my hometown, my admiration for my Irish heritage, and the joy I experience in advocacy. Public speaking is never easy for a stutterer. It is a daunting task where I sometimes question myself and how others will perceive me. When I speak in front of a group, I must shed my reservations and fears to become the best version of myself. Although I may stumble or it might take me a little longer to get out a word, my message prevails.

Of course, during these readings, I have moments when my nerves get the best of me. It’s only natural to experience self-doubt sometimes! But the children’s positive reactions are most impactful for me and reassure me that I am doing something important. The questions from the audience, their wondering glances at the pages of the book, and their smiles as I discuss my story encourage me to stay the course on my journey. The best part of my day is when a child will excitedly come up to me and comment on my book!

We all struggle with something. Understanding that we are all in the same boat and crave acceptance and love is the first step. In the future, I hope to read Different Like Delia to kids across the country and the world. I want to create a safe place for people to share their struggles but also a culture where no stutterer ever feels unaccepted.

The post The Gift of Reading to Children first appeared on Different like Delia.

Throughout the writing process, I saw Delia as my own hero—a character who could say the words I longed to say and convey the thoughts I had difficulty expressing. Creating Different Like Delia gave me freedom and serenity. I was no longer held back by my “lack” of a voice and found a new voice to call my own. Delia is the hero of her own story, but she is also the hero of mine. The gift of a voice is something so important and so universal. Everyone is entitled to use their voice and be heard.

As a result of this journey, a part of me I always thought was missing was found. The missing puzzle piece completed me, and I felt whole once again. I encourage anyone who reads my book to do the same. Find the puzzle piece which makes you feel whole. Finding what completes us, shapes us into who we are meant to be. We discover new prospects we never thought possible when we use our voices to tell our story. The 8-year-old Ava is so proud of who I am today. Creating this amazing character has given me the confidence to use my voice to tell my story to children of all ages.

Delia gave me a voice and I am eternally grateful for the gift. She is my hero. So now, I encourage you to think about who, or what gives you a voice? Moreover, who is your hero?

Thank you, Delia!

XOXO Ava     

The post Thank You, Delia! first appeared on Different like Delia.

                As the school year winds down, I know I am incredibly overwhelmed. I have a million projects, tests, and homework assignments due before the end of the year and the thought of getting them all done leaves me feeling paralyzed. Through this, I have lost sight of what grounds me and is key to my own self-care. I do not get as much sleep as I should, nor do I prioritize the activities that make me happy. With the added stress, my stutter becomes more apparent. During these times, it is not my disfluency that bothers me but my own anxiety.

                When life gets hectic, my stutter is a complete manifestation of my own inner turmoil. The chaos in my brain bubbles to the surface and my stutter is the result. So, this spring, I am prioritizing my mental health and writing “CLEANSE YOUR MIND” in big red ink on the top of my to-do list. I am prioritizing this task not because of my stutter but because my mind is in desperate need of organization. April showers bring May flowers, so we must put in the work to reap the fruits of our own labor. I want to think of my stutter as an integral part of who I am instead of the product of a chaotic mind.

The post Cleanse Your Mind with Me This Spring first appeared on Different like Delia.

During Valentine celebrations, my stutter would often stop in to say hello in honor of the busy holiday. I often mention my stutter becoming more apparent in times of stress and uncertainty, but my stutter also would appear in times of over-excitement. I would forget to take a breath and pace myself in my endeavors leading me to feel overwhelmed causing me to stumble. When this happened, I would feel angry and isolated leaving me to wonder why things “always go wrong” for me. I would hand my stutter a tattered Valentine hoping it would persuade the party crasher to take her leave.

This, of course, was no solution at all. And, really, no solution was needed. Your stutter’s value is not equated to the crumpled-up Valentine. It is an integral component of your character. I know in my day to day I lose sight of this, and I feel angry when my stutter sneaks up on me in inopportune times. But I do not always have to push her away and lock her up with all my might. As a stutterer, I am given the perspective and opportunity to walk through life with a different outlook. I know she is part of me and despite her uncertainty, she has taught me a lot about how to navigate life and its ever-present and unexpected challenges. With my stutter by my side, I am unstoppable, because I know what I need to do, and I focus on getting it done. Together, we spread love to all people.

This Valentine’s Day, I am making the choice to write a special note of love and appreciation, making sure to dot my i’s with a heart. To my Stutter! Love, Ava…

The post A Love Letter to My Stutter first appeared on Different like Delia.

After much internal debate, I decided that any resolution I ever made lasted 23 days, max. I further reflected on my prior resolutions and determined that not one of them ever made me feel good. So why do we make New Year’s Resolutions?

I think we look at a new year as a clean slate where the angel on one shoulder overcomes the devil with a pitchfork on the other. That New Year/New You vibe is really soul crushing because we do not transform into another being come midnight on December 31. Changes and improvements take hard work and a strong desire for success.

I have decided resolutions are born by our realization that something is off in our daily routines. We know there are areas in our lives that need to be cleaned up for us to live a productive and fulfilling life.

I went down a rabbit hole for sure and came out thinking about SOLUTIONS. When something is broken, we fix it. We dig deep and find a solution to the problem. It is not hard to argue that resolutions stem from an area in our lives that requires attention. However, when we break a resolution, we feel bad instead of being proud of the fact that we were working toward a new goal.

So, instead of focusing on the limiting nature and punishment of a resolution, why not just find a positive solution?

January is over but we have 11 months to find solutions for the things we want to change or make better in our lives. Solutions have a positive impact because we find a “new” way and simply implement it.

Who is ready to start putting positive energy into change? Little steps ultimately have a big impact! What is your first solution?

The post Solutions Not Resolutions first appeared on Different like Delia.

Why is there so much pressure to become a new version of ourselves and alter who we are already? I think it starts at a very basic level.  What do YOU want to prioritize to help you work toward being your best self? It is not about who you think you should become nor is it about who others decide you should become in the dawn of a new year. Rather, it should be about breaking old habits that no longer serve you, creating new habits, challenging yourself, but more importantly learning to be comfortable with what makes you “YOU”. This exercise is essential before you look at who you want to become.

For me, the new year has always felt daunting. I seem to constantly find myself consumed with everything I had promised myself I would do and be. Usually, I end up overwhelmed and tired of the ideas I came up with, laughing at how ambitious I had tried to be. More importantly I have felt overwhelmed by the idea of “change”. This usually led me to give up on all I had promised. But this year, I told myself I would prioritize the things I love to do that over time would lead to positive changes in my life.

In 2024, I am committed to going easy on myself and giving myself some grace. I have found I can often be very hard on myself and nitpick my every action. I have decided I need to extend the same love and forgiveness I give to others to myself. What a revelation?  Life can be so hard as it is and the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. My priorities in 2024 include getting a lot of sleep, eating well, practicing positive affirmations, and generally giving myself a break. I hope to take walks in nature, journal regularly, and spend time with my family and friends. 2024 can be a new beginning for all of us so…. what are you prioritizing in 2024?

The post What are you prioritizing in 2024? first appeared on Different like Delia.

2023 has been a challenging year for many people. Over the past several months, I have heard the same story from everyone. The year has been tough, we are exhausted, and I need a break. It is beyond the busy badge of honor that we have all worn. This level of burn out and exhaustion in the community is real and it needs to change. I think this is a new kind of pandemic as it is spreading quickly with no relief in sight. This is OUR fault. We try to do too much, perfection is unattainable, and our calendars cannot take another commitment. More importantly, what are we teaching our children? They look to us as role models and tend to repeat our behaviors. This is not a lifestyle to pass down to our future generations.

Instead of staying on the treadmill to nowhere, I have decided to close my computer this week and focus on what really matters.  I want to enjoy the holiday season with my family and friends and focus on how I can be better in the new year. I want to spend the time laughing and having fun. I also plan to really look at my patterns and routines and decide what I need to leave in 2023 and not bring forward to a new year.

Work, school, volunteer opportunities and commitments will all be there in a short amount of time and our routines will start again. We need to make those habits and routines positive ones that help us navigate our day and be better because of them.

Who wants to join me in “ringing” out the old and “bringing” in the new?

The post Time to Reflect first appeared on Different like Delia.

In my childhood, I often felt like I did not have control over anything. I felt as if I was just along for the ride and could not stop or get off the ride. This left me feeling scared and worried all the time. I wanted some form of stability and art was my outlet and my ally. With a paintbrush, pastels, or a colored pencil, the sky was the limit. The world was mine for the taking and I could create my own little oasis where I was free from the problems of the moment.

Even to this day, art is my favorite outlet. You might call her my best friend. Whenever I have time to sit down and create, my day is transformed, and I feel lighter because of it. I hold my art close to my heart. A love under lock and key that is mine alone. I unlock it at just the right moment to cleanse me of all the bad and shine light on all the good. And there is good….my art reminds me of that and takes me there. How do you escape?

The post Art & Escapism first appeared on Different like Delia.

I attended a beautiful mass this weekend with my daughter and the celebrant spoke about the gifts we are all given that are meant to be shared. Some of us sing, some can dance, some of us are patient, and some are good listeners and teachers. Some of us are nurturing and kind and make others feel safe and understood. Some are blessed with their words and can tell a great joke and make us laugh. There are also wonderful story tellers we love to listen to for hours. Everyone is born with a special gift.  As I listened to the sermon, I felt grateful to be there and to share the hour with someone I love. More importantly, I was encouraged to take stock of the gifts I have been given and to think about how I can share those gifts this holiday season. Over the weekend, I spent an impromptu evening with a few family members. We had no agenda, no fancy meal, and no time constraints. We simply sat at the table, enjoyed each other, shared our worries, and looked at old photo albums. No one watched the time or glanced at their phones and the evening ended on a high note. We shared thank you texts the next morning and it was a good reset for all of us. It doesn’t take a lot of money or fuss to bring magic to the holiday…. or to any day.

This year, I am going to try to encourage my family to focus on each other and to spend time doing the things that bring us joy. Often, the most meaningful experiences come from the simplest things. I don’t know how successful this will be but my “to do” list for the month of December includes movie nights, board games, long walks in San Francisco, a volunteer activity, and gift deliveries for children in need. It will be great to have the entire family under one roof for a few weeks and honestly, that is magic enough for me!

The post The Best Gifts are the Gifts We Share first appeared on Different like Delia.